Read my new column for White Noise.

4th article for the great young, vibrant new magazine White Noise. Take a peek and see what you think!

Kikekeller

Lost in Madrid, at around 10pm, a kind face standing in front of a concept furniture store, invites you in. Don’t fret, take the opportunity and just walk in. Past the room of modern furniture and through the small wooden door, a beautiful space opens up in front of your very eyes. Subtly calm indie-pop is piped into the industrial room, as you appreciate your incredibly contrasting surroundings. There is a plethora of different seats available, ranging from old hospital beds to wooden flat-pack stools. Alongside this, the calm well-dressed waiters, ask your order and in a matter of minutes, you are drinking an inexpensive expertly crafted mojito and a round of free jelly segments. The vibe is very ‘Williamsburg’ and the people who frequent, fit that hipster stereotype (but without the insane pretention). This small secret enclave in the centre of Madrid, transports you to the hustle and bustle of New York, a very refreshing change of pace when the slow traditional Madrid, starts to wear you down.
(→ Kikekeller, Calle Corredera Baja de San Pablo, 17, TriBall, Metro: Callao)

Retro City

Retro City is Madrid’s answer to the Swedish behemoth, Beyond Retro. The variety of clothes is borderline insane, ranging from skisuits to blouses to velvet jackets. The sale rack has plenty of bargains to be had and the stock is replenished every three weeks. Retro City definitely makes the experience of shopping fun! The décor of the store is reminiscent of a child’s playroom. Barbies and Action Men are dotted around and their creepy smiles watch you as you shop to heart’s content. The prices are affordable, the staff friendly and unpretentious. Fun pop music pipes out of the oddly placed speakers and it is inevitable that whilst shopping, you will end up dancing!
(→ Retro City, Calle Corredera Alta de San Pablo, 2, Malasaña, Metro: Tribunal/Chueca)

Pasajes

For any foreigner abroad, the time comes when instead of reading the headlines of the local gossip rags (as your level of language cannot permit literature, just as yet) you crave a good book in your mother tongue. Pasajes offers that and more. Stocked are the great works, modern and classic, in around 6 languages from Arabic to Portuguese to English. Sofas are dotted around, inviting you to perch yourself on them with a book from the shelves. The staff, helpful and yet, in their own world, will attend to your queries on Huxley and even offer you coffee. A price for a bit of home, doesn’t cost too much and in a city such as Madrid where noise is the norm; the calm atmosphere of Paisajes will allow you to curate your own interpretation of any classic in peace.
(→ Pasajes, Calle Génova, 3, Alonso Martinez, Metro: Alonso Martinez)

It wasn’t until Allison Harvard swiftly responded to my spontaneous unvested request for an interview that I begun to question whether what I had done was a bit weird. With enough knowledge that ‘creepy-chan’ of 4chan had plenty of die-hard fans and stalkers I am surprised she was willing to meet so spontaneously in Brooklyn without any credentials. Her equally creepy fan base provided the foundation for her stint (on two cycles) of Americas Next Top Model, popularity on 4chan (because of her rampant self-publication) and relentless quirky hipster image blogging. By passing around images of a strange looking 16 year old girl, labeling them ‘creepy’ and yelling all over the Internet about how totally cool she is, her fans (stalkers) transformed Allison into an internet ‘meme’. This led to her being actively sought out by producers of Americas Next Top model, and having come runner up on her cycle, it wasn’t long until she reappeared in our collective subconscious, in ANOTHER cycle of Americas Next Top Model. But do not fret, she had not disguised herself and reapplied for some more television time but she appeared on the All-Star cycle for the most popular contestants, sort of. Awkwardly, she was runner up again, but then again winning is far too mainstream, and she lost out to a troll at that.

Having arranged a time and place I questioned whether this incidental stalking was adequately ‘creepy’ for a girl like Allison. If someone promotes being seen, followed and admired on so many platforms, they can only expect to be literally followed, surely? Waiting at the café where we had agreed to meet, it was time to brush up on my quasi-fake interview questions. Upon Allison’s arrival, if expectations were to be had (other than her not turning up) she would have certainly met them, looking adequately ‘different’ although not creepy. I was just relieved to see a police escort didn’t accompany her. After a quick character analysis and realizing she wasn’t guarded but was equally bored, it was straight into the questions! Once we clarified her favorite color was and whether she prefers rice or peas, we discussed how she feels about being a creepy-meme-chan-model-blogging extraordinaire.

What are you thankful for?
The Internet and being lucky

Are you addicted to the Internet?
Yes, no, yes, I like it. I hate how much I love tumblr. I love cats, pictures of cats. I have been playing on the computer since I was probably too young. I would html when I was 14. My eyes were opened to the world of 4chan at a young age too. Heard what that is? If you haven’t.

Are you recognized often?
Yes

Does it bother you?
It will never get old. People ask me if I’m creepy-chan in the streets as opposed to Allison. Its super weird

Has life resumed normality?
I don’t know normality. I work hard, that’s normal

Do you Google yourself?
I was curious, now I’m over it. People say terrible things. People say I’m cute, people say I’m cute but I would fuck the shit out of her and mail her head to her family.

Did you have a lot of Myspace friends?
20,000. You know how it is, you’re friends with everyone.

What is your biggest achievement?
Overall, when reflecting upon what I’ve done, I’m proud that my life has been weird. If I were to write it down, it’d be particularly colourful. I’m so bland.

What is a typical day like for you?
Wake up, drink diet coke, paint

What is your favorite film?
Boogie nights

You’re in a time machine, where are you going?
Nowhere, I don’t want the plague but other than that, the nineties but other than that, I want to be Russian. I wish I were Anastasia

What do you fear?
I fear germs, spiders and death. I am always diagnosing myself with ailments

Who is your idol?
Courtney Love

And at that, a final thought, if you see someone on television you like, send them an email; they might meet you if you ask nicely.

I don’t know whether this is beautiful or tragic. The juxtaposition of the blue hand-me-down cowboy boots and the fairy wings against the raw brutality of war, just goes to show how innocent children really and truly are.

(Source: adventuresforbreakfast, via dolinska)

Wondering, pondering and imagining are words that spring to mind whenever you are thinking. The thought process can be whatever you wish it to be, but those three words evoke some sort of longing but in the end, what are they. They are but utter fantasy.

I try to be an honest and caring person. Sometimes, it proves too difficult, playing games and being sneaky is the easy way out. Not only, is it the easier way out but it’s more fun. In the end, we just have to give up and fight for what we want, destroy that fantastical thought process and learn the truth.

Fantasy traps you. It pushes you into living in a world where nothing ends up existing, that pushes you to live in a fabricated web of lies, that you’ve created which in essence just makes you the Emperor of Tragic-istan.

The other day, I finally took the courage to escape my fabricated life as not only does it end up claustrophobing (#newword) you but it turns on you. Like, any hallucination, it eventually turns sour if you don’t see or have an end point.

Not only, do I feel so much better having an answer, the fabricated web of imagination doesn’t exist anymore. I’ve never felt this light and fluffy before. Jack Nicholson said that you can’t handle the truth but I did and I can now move on with the next stage of my life. The truth set me free.

The third installment to my series regarding Vintage Shops abroad!
If you want to read part one and two - the link is below:
Porto, Portugal - http://bit.ly/qWrq05
Lisbon, Portugal - http://bit.ly/wVnb1V

(ps: the fashion editorial regarding this shop is coming soon!)

Madrid is a city that younger tourists/travellers seem to forget and instead favour the beach-bum attitude and style of Barcelona. If anything, not only does Madrid have a better way of life, people and more to do, but its vintage shopping is superb. Based mainly in the historical trendy Malasaña district, vintage shop owners peddle their wares wearing plugs and covered in tattoos. The other area for vintage clothing is the southern, intrinsically bohemian area of La Latina, alongside the Sunday flea market which deserves a post of its own, the second hand stores not only sell home-made knits but also any knick-and-knack, you could want to decorate your abode. Here, I explain why these 4 second-hand/vintage clothes shops are the best in Madrid.

Underground: Calle de Mira el Río Baja, 14 – La Latina, Madrid

With the Harry Beck inspired logo, reminiscent of the tube system in London, this shop really caters for your vintage needs. Come on a Sunday as part of your trip to the famous Madrileño flea market, El Rastro. Not only does Underground have a variety of lovely warm jumpers (apparently made by a lady 2 streets away) but a beautiful selection of ballroom dresses, faux furs and grandma-chic coats. Run by a fabulous demanding old lady who is constantly advising you what to buy and what it goes with. If you like a more personal experience, I advise you to go on a week-day just after the siesta period. Refreshed and replenished, she will give you a true one-to-one shopping experience.

La Mona Checa: Calle de Velarde, 2 – Malasaña, Madrid

Mona Checa specialises in knitwear and 1950’s dresses. Not only can you find an abundance of colourful and garish knits, but at affordable prices. The second room in the shop, has a bounty of very good quality leathers and fur. The shop, itself, has an incredibly welcoming atmosphere with a soundtrack giving you a flashback of an 80’s dive bar with a whiff of self deprecation. The staff are attentive and stylish, therefore any advice from them is sound and true. By the till, there is a range of antique cameras at the higher end of a budget but definitely worth the price, if the impulse takes you to purchase one.

Magpie Urraca: Calle de Velarde, 4 – Malasaña, Madrid

With its cute name and good window displays, entice you to walk into their store. Once inside, they definitely do not disappoint. To the left, is a kitsch display with an old Pashley bicycle and a variety of children’s knits. They stock a range of clothes, not only for the public for they are one of the only places available for rental for events, theatre shows and films. In the menswear section, the highlight is definitely the jeans. Stocked are, jeans of a variety of different colours and fabrics for any taste or any style. The womenswear is delightful, ranging from pretty and simple day dresses to elegant and ferocious fur coats. The shoes are not to be amiss too. Alongside the now trendy Dr Martens, stand a variety of brogues, loafers and antique ballet pumps. The prices are not too steep, with antique leather bags ranging from €15 which in comparison to other stores is a complete bargain.

Retro City: Calle Corredera Alta de San Pablo, 4 – Malasaña, Madrid

Retro City is Madrid’s answer to the international Beyond Retro. The variety of clothes is borderline insane, ranging from skisuits to blouses to velvet jackets. The sale rack has plenty of bargains to be had and the stock is replenished every three weeks. Retro City definitely makes the experience of shopping fun! The décor of the store is reminiscent of a child’s playroom. Barbies and Action Men are dotted around and their creepy smiles watch you as you shop to heart’s content. The prices are affordable, the staff friendly and unpretentious. With fun pop music coming out of the speakers, it is inevitable that whilst shopping, you will end up dancing!

lulz. story of my life.

WHITE NOISE LAUNCHES 6TH FEBRUARY!!!

(Source: yourstrulytom, via whitenoisemagazine)